Self's View of the Self

I’ve been trying to understand this about me. There’s this idea I was talking about, where people develop a powerful, mostly-hidden-from-awareness, emotional sense that they are crap. I mean, really crap: fundamentally and seriously flawed beyond hope.

I’m sure that I have these things inside me, and that they’re frequently causing me a lot of trouble. At different times, they can invoke a variety of different senses of shame, self-doubt, depression, fear, etc. And, they’re self-referencing, feeding off themselves and each other, at times making for a serious tidal wave, maelstrom, of internal emotional turmoil, some of which gets so bad as to effect my consciousness mind and body, but most of which just roils below the surface, still affecting me, but in ways I don’t obviously recognize….

Something like this. It’s complicated, dynamic, and deeply emotional—so, it’s _very_ hard to understand with critical, conscious reason. It’s easier to feel, and easier to “understand” (sense) using an emotional sensitivity, an awareness, an openness.